So you think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to yourself your
geekiness. No matter what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks have
rights. So take a deep breath and announce to the world that you are a geek.
Your courage will give you strength that will last you forever.
How to tell the world you are a geek, you ask? Use the universal Geek code!
Using this special code will allow you to let other un-closeted geeks know who
you are in a simple, codified statement.
The single best way to announce your geekhood is to add your geek code to your
signature file or plan and announce it far and wide. But be careful, you may
give other geeks the courage to come out of the closet. You might want to hang
on to your copy of the code in order to help them along.
The geek code consists of several categories. Each category is labeled with a
letter and some qualifiers. Go through each category and determine which set
of qualifiers best describes you in that category. By stringing all of these
'codes' together, you are able to construct your overall geek code. It is this
single line of code that will inform other geeks the world over of what a
great geek you actually are.
Some of the qualifiers will very probably not match with you exactly. It is
impossible to cover all possibilities in each category. Simply choose that
qualifier that most closely matches you. Also, some activities described in a
specific qualifier you may not engage in, while you do engage in others. Each
description of each qualifier describes the wide range of activities that
apply, so as long as you match with one, you can probably use that qualifier.
After you have determined each of your qualifiers, you need to the construct
your GEEK CODE BLOCK. Instructions are provided on how to do this towards the
end of this file.
Also, pay particular attention to case-sensitivity, there can be a big
difference between a w and a W.
Geeks can seldom be strictly quantified. To facilitate the fact that within any
one category the geek may not be able to determine a specific rating,
variables have been designed to allow this range to be included.
for this variable, said trait is not very rigid, may change
with time or with individual interaction. For example, Geeks who happen to
very much enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation, but dislike the old 60's
series might list themselves as t++@.
for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. Geeks who
go from C+ to C--- depending on the situation (i.e. mostly
C+) could use C+(---). @ is different from ()
in that () has finite limits within the category, while @
ranges all over.
for 'wannabe' ratings. Indicating that while the geek is
currently at one rating, they are striving to reach another. For example,
C++>$ indicating a geek that is currently computer savvy, but
wants to someday make money at it.
Indicates that this particular category is done for a
living. For example, UL+++$ indicates that the person utilizes Unix
and gets paid for it. Quite a lucky geek, for sure.
Unless stated otherwise within the specific category, the
? is placed after the category identifier and indicates that the
geek has no knowledge about that specific category. For example, a person
that has never even heard of Babylon 5, would list their Babylon 5
category as 5?
Placed BEFORE the category. Unless stated otherwise,
indicates that the person refuses to participate in this category. This is
unlike the ? variable as the ? indicates lack of knowledge,
while the ! indicates stubborn refusal to participate. For example,
!E would be a person that just plain refuses to have anything to do
with Emacs, while E? would be a person that doesn't even know what
Geeks come in many flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation (or, if a
student, what they are training in) of the particular geek. To start a code, a
geek must declare himself or herself to be a geek. To do this, we start the
code with a "G" to denote "GEEK", followed by one or two
letters to denote the geek's occupation or field of study. Multi-talented
geeks with more than one vocational training should denote their myriad of
talents with a slash between each vocation (example: GCS/MU/TW).
Geek of Business
Geek of Classics
Geek of Commercial Arts
Geek of Computer Management
Geek of Computer Science
Geek of Communications
Geek of Engineering
Geek of Education
Geek of Fine Arts
Geek of Government
Geek of Humanities
Geek of Information Technology
Geek of Jurisprudence (Law)
Geek of Library Science
Geek of Literature
Geek of Mass Communications
Geek of Math
Geek of Medicine
Geek of Music
Geek of Performing Arts
Geek of Philosophy
Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)
Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)
Geek of Technical Writing
Geek of Other. Some types of geeks deviate from the normal
geek activities. This is encouraged as true geeks come from all walks of
Geek of 'Undecided'. This is a popular vocation with
Geek of no qualifications. A rather miserable existence,
you would think.
Geek of All Trades. For those geeks that can do anything
and everything. GAT usually precludes the use of other vocational
They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. That seems to
be ample justification to invent a time machine; just to play with the minds
of the people that make up these silly sayings. Nevertheless, until we
completely understand temporal mechanics and can get both a DeLorean and a
Flux Capacitor in the same place at the same time at 88 miles an hour, we need
to understand that how we look is a mark that will effect us for the rest of
our lives, or at least until we change clothes.
The Geek, of course, doesn't believe any of that crap. How we look has little to
do with what we are inside, and who we are as people. Yet, people still want
to know what we look like. Thus, this section allows you to list out all the
relevant traits about what you look like on a normal geeky day.
It is said that "clothes make the man". Well, I understood that I was
made by a mommy and a daddy (and there's even a category to describe the
process below!). Maybe the people who made up that saying aren't being quite
I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business suit
or worse, a tie.
Good leisure-wear. Slacks, button-shirt, etc. No jeans,
tennis shoes, or t-shirts.
I dress a lot like those found in catalog ads. Bland,
boring, without life or meaning.
I'm usually in jeans and a t-shirt.
My t-shirts go a step further and have a trendy political
message on them.
Punk dresser, including, but not limited to, torn jeans and
shirts, body piercings, and prominent tattoos.
I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone what
I wore yesterday.
No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don't you
I wear the same clothes all the time, no matter the
occasion, forgetting to do laundry between wearings.
Geeks come in many shapes and sizes. Shape code is divided into two parts. The
first indicates height, while the second indicates roundness. Mix each section
to fit yourself. Examples include: s:++, s++:, s++:--.
I usually have to duck through doors/I take up three movie
I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate.
I'm a little taller/rounder than most.
I'm an average geek
I look up to most people. Everyone tells me to gain a few
I look up to damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight
against a strong breeze.
I take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to
eat dinner. My bones are poking through my skin.
The only way to become a true geek is through practice and experience. To this
end, your age becomes an important part of your geekiness. Use the qualifiers
below to show your age (in Terran years). Also, please use BASE 10 numbers.
In addition, if you wish to give your exact age, you can place the number after
the 'a' identifier. For example: a42
There is a record of geeks that don't use computers. Unfortunately, they are all
dead, having lived in an era of no computers. All modern geeks have some
exposure to computers. If you don't know what a computer is, you need to go
back into your shell.
Most geeks identify themselves by their use of computers and computer networks.
In order to quantify your geekiness level on computers, consult the following
(consider the term 'computers' synonymous with 'computer network'). This
category represents "general" computer aptitude. Categories below
will get into specifics.
I'll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface
installed into my skull.
You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin'
me! I haven't dragged myself to class in weeks.
Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up
in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I play games or mud
on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic probation.
Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean
game of DOOM! and can use a word processor without resorting to the manual
too often. I know that a 3.5" disk is not a hard disk. I also know
that when it says 'press any key to continue', I don't have to look for a
key labeled 'ANY'.
Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it when it serves
Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm
Where's the on switch?
If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off!
It seems that a Unix-based operating system is the OS of choice among most
geeks. In addition to telling us about your Unix abilities, you can also show
which specific Unix OS you are using. To accomplish this, you include a letter
showing the brand with your rating. For example: UL++++ would indicate a
sysadmin running Linux.
BSD (use this unless your BSDish system is mentioned